I love rain because it cleanses everything and renews and brings new life to the world, but we don’t see these things until the rain clears and the storm moves on. Sometimes we let ourselves get caught in hindsight and should haves instead of seeing where our decisions lead us. I have been tormenting myself with believing that I made the wrong decision about the house I chose to move into since we started to settle in. It is not so much the house itself as it is the community surrounding the house and the benefits choosing the other house would have given me. Today, a good friend finally pushed me to see that sometimes what we think is not a great thing can turn out to be the better choice, and we may not ever clearly know it. I am thankful for the conversation I was able to have today and the ideas I was able to bounce back and forth with that friend, as well as just getting to know each other a little better.
Yesterday was a busy day that brought joy to all of us. I took the kids up to Mt. Charleston and we went sledding and enjoyed a little snowball fight. When we got home, we rested a little bit and then I took my son and youngest daughter to one of my son’s friends birthday parties. The kids had a blast playing and I was able to socialize with some other parents. Even though it was busy, it was a fun day and we even got to make some memories.
My oldest daughter babysat the younger ones today, allowing me to spend time with a dear friend that will be venturing to the east coast in a little over a month. It was great to get to spend time with her again. She was on a roll, too. The luck was on her side today. It had been a little while since we got to talk because of schedules and moves and everything else, so it felt great to get to spend time with her.
My eldest daughter and I played our first round of 20 questions. We started off light with the questions, but I still gained a great deal of insight I didn’t have before. We still have a long road to travel, but it felt like a good start. I am really feeling good about starting to tear down both of our walls so that we can find a common ground and understand each other better. Not only that, but I am looking forward to the day that I will be able to give my trust to her again.
I really am starting to miss being able to cuddle with my husband at night and talk about the day. These are the little things that hurt the most when he is away. The loss of companionship and that physical connection. I miss bouncing things off of him at night when the kids are all in bed and there are no distractions. I do get to video call him every day, but there are always distractions and things going on either on his end or my end, so it is definitely not the same. I am very grateful that the technology is there that allows us to see each other every day, I just miss that quiet time where it is just us at night. I do look at the positive side of this, however, that I will cherish that time even more when he returns. The fact that I do miss it and feel that hurt because it cannot be replaced also brings contentment to me because it allows me to realize how blessed I am to share this love with him.
Storms roll in and out, reeking havoc upon our lives, but when they clear, it is our job to find the renewal and new growth caused by the storm. This is how we rise up and become better people. I am thankful to the angels that are place in my life to help me see that sometimes it takes patience to see what the storm has left in its wake. Thank you to my friends and family who help me through these rough patches in my life by redirecting some of my negative thoughts into lessons of patience in waiting to see what the universe has in store.