If there is one thing true about life, it is that we never stop learning and are constantly challenged to analyze ourselves, learn from mistakes and mold ourselves into stronger and better human beings. I learned another life lesson today.
If you read my rant from yesterday, you could see that I was upset because I believed that I sold the Subaru to a dealership. This was an assumption based on the name of the company that the buyer put on the title (it had the word Trader in it). I didn’t ask him, and I didn’t confront him. I assumed I had been lied to and once again taken advantage of because of my kindness. I wrote a polite, yet firm email to the buyer today, based on my assumption, questioning his integrity and character. I have since buried my head in the sand. That famous saying about what happens when you assume is very true. I finally did some research and discovered that his company has nothing to do with cars. I swallowed my pride, and knowing that I would look like an idiot, wrote an apologetic email. This has made me reanalyze who I am. I immediately assumed the negative, rather than asking the buyer directly or doing research first. I immediately believed that being kind to people and trusting people were flaws in my character. I should have trusted my gut when I didn’t feel right sending him the email. I should have looked up the company and verified my negativity before I allowed myself to go down a road of self doubt and loss of hope and faith in people. The positive side of this entire experience is that I now clearly see that I need to improve my character and not immediately make negative assumptions. I need to take my own advice (the advice that I constantly give my teenage daughter), and verify things before I allow myself to believe them and let that clutter the truth. I am sure that the first email I sent the buyer gave him feelings of anger and resentment. I am sure he did not understand why I kept referring to him as a car dealer. I felt like a big jerk, to say the least, but I hope that he can forgive me. Though I am embarrassed by my behavior, I am grateful that this all happened as it has shown me another opportunity for my own growth.
I got my run in today which made me feel wonderful after the ups and downs of the morning, and it also helped me focus on the rest of the day. My youngest daughter and I made it to the park today, but she said she was too cold, so we only got to play her Polar Express skit once, and then she asked to go home where we had hot chocolate and watched the Polar Express. I won’t ever get tired of this.
My eldest daughter said she felt like she did really well, or at least better than most of the other people in her classes, on her semester finals today. She is doing very well in school and I am very proud of her. She is mostly self-motivated now, and is working hard to get to where she wants to be.
My son’s homework today was just learning/memorizing our home address and phone number, and counting to 100. He did amazing and we’ll go over it again tomorrow to make sure he retained the address and phone number.
My two oldest went to karate tonight and both of them looked really good. They have been in karate for over a year now with an excellent instructor, and are perfecting their form in preparation to test to go to a higher belt.
Opportunities to grow and learn are with us every day. Though I wish I hadn’t been such an arrogant idiot, I am glad that the lesson for today was blatant and right in front of my face. Moments with my children decorate the majority of my positive moments, which is a great feeling. I look forward to continuing to share my journey with you. I do have to say that my whole day was a little off today. I was feeling exhausted, a little lonely (starting to miss my husband), and extremely foolish, but I am glad I have my positive moments to look back on.